Category: Habit Building

How satisfied are you with your life right now at this precise moment? 

Whether your head is in the clouds and you’re out of this world happy, or you’re just feeling so so, it’s all determined by your past. 

There’s a buddhist quote that says, 

“If you want to know your past, look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future, look into your present actions.”

Everything that you’ve done to this point in your existence has brought you to your present conditions. Your thoughts, actions, decisions and indecisions of the past have paved the unique path that you are on.

If you’re not content with the circumstances that you find yourself in, look no further than at your very own self and nobody else. 

We all live in our own reality. What other people say and do steer our lives only in relation to how much we choose to allow it to. 

Fortunately there’s hope for the future, as our present actions create our destiny. 

Starting right now you have a very special opportunity, one far greater in potential impact than you could ever possibly fathom. A once in a lifetime chance to become the captain of your inner world’s ship and master of the outer worlds seas. 

What can you begin doing today that you know will positively influence the rest of your life?

How can you go about doing it and sticking to it so that your future is guaranteed to shine bright? 

The past is forever over and done with. 

You no longer have to accept anything lagging from it that currently holds you back from being your ideal self. 

Take control of your present actions and lead yourself towards the future that only you are capable of creating. 

It’s easy to get excited about the prospect of a new job, making more money, or pursuing a long time goal. Our veins get filled with motivation and we share our enthusiasm with family and friends.

It’s only when we reach our first obstacle or two that reality smacks us in the face and an important decision has to be made. Give up or move forward. 

Unfortunately, most people choose the former. 

Facing adversity isn’t easy and it’s certainly not something learned in school. It’s viewed from a place of fear and spoiled with a sense of impending failure. 

But in order to achieve, find fulfillment and discover our own potential we must deal with it head on. 

In Meditations, written by the ancient Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, he says:

“Our actions may be impeded…but there can be no impeding our intentions or dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”

If we choose to look at bumps in the road more as building blocks that will enable us to take one step further towards our aspirations, the thoughts of failure and feelings of fear will start to weaken. 

With each obstruction thrown at us, we’ll begin to hurdle over them in stride and recognize just how much wisdom and value these impediments actually provide. 

Over time we’ll learn the esoteric secret to success… what stands in the way becomes the way. 

Once this is actualized the human mind’s capabilities are limitless. 

And even more so, through these hardships we’ll gain a refreshing outlook on life and a newfound appreciation for how far we’ve come.

We tend to underestimate our decisions and where they could lead us in life.

A tiny change of habit can compound over time and create a life changing transformation.

Tony Robbins once said, “The decisions we make control us much more than the conditions we meet.”

Yet, we typically allow our conditions to write the script of our lives.

We let fear and other people’s opinions influence our choices, and believe it or not, enabling our circumstances to dictate who we are and how we live is a decision in and of itself.

Years ago when I was first pursuing entrepreneurship, my business partner and I reached a point where we were nearly out of money.

We had a vital decision to make at that pivotal moment. We could’ve thrown in the towel and given up but we stuck with it and found the light at the end of the tunnel.

That choice, amongst others, drastically impacted the trajectory of my life and it’s uncertain where I’d be today and who I’d become had we not battled it out.

There’s way more things out of our control in this world than what we do have some influence on.

One extremely potent aspect in our control are our decisions.

It doesn’t matter what you seek, whether it be a better career and having more money, developing your character and personal qualities, or attaining peace and joy, if you’re blessed to have woken up today with the precious gift of life and have health, energy and a sound body and mind (and are reading these words), then you have the uniquely human potential to take control of your life decisions and invest in yourself for a better tomorrow.

Paint the portrait of your destiny through the power of your choices.

“Circumstances don’t make the man, they only reveal him to himself.” – Epictetus

Many of us want to make changes in our lives that would enable us to become a better and more improved version of ourselves. 

We all want to be and feel fit and healthy in our personal lives and feel successful in our careers. 

Unfortunately, the majority of us rarely make the necessary changes to attain these aspirations for the simple fact that we are not focusing our efforts on the right task. 

New year’s resolutions, the latest diet craze, seriously? 

These are ephemeral actions that lead to failure and disappointment 99.9% of the time.

Luckily there’s a way to produce real change. 

According to one of the greats, Tony Robbins, “the strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with how we define ourselves.”

However you are living your life right now is how you define yourself and every day your conscious and subconscious thoughts, beliefs and actions reinforce this identity. 

What you must realize is that this “person” is built up of a compilation of outdated programs that have been installed into your mind since you were a child. 

Can you imagine going into a computer store today and seeing a bunch of huge and ugly computers from the 70s or 80s? Well, that is what your mind looks like and is running off of.

It’s time to say F the BS and upgrade your mind’s software so that you can reinvent your identity. 

Think about the people you aspire to be more like. Who are your heroes, who do you look up to?

Write them down.

To name a few, mine are Tony Robbins, Marcus Aurelius and Earl Nightingale. 

Once you have a few, think about what qualities they possess that you want to instill into your identity. 

Write them down.

For example, Tony Robbins has a deep passion for constant and never ending self improvement, learning how the best of the best improve themselves and then sharing and giving back to others by providing them with the insights he uncovers. 

Now that you have a few, do some research on these people if possible and read/listen/watch as much content on/about them as you can. If they have interviews, podcasts, documentaries, their own books, etc, make it your top priority to consume and digest all of it. 

As you do so, write down information that you find interesting, it can be a quote you really like or a specific concept that you would like to learn more about. 

Armed with this information, take out a piece of paper (or type it out on your computer) and start writing down everything that you can think of that is related to what you’ve learned from this person (or people). Write it as if you were going to send it to a friend and explain to them, through your own words, what you’ve learned. 

The method to the madness

When you have the intention of writing down what you are learning as you are consuming it, your brain kicks itself into a higher gear where your focus is heightened and a surge of energy flows to you. 

When in this incredible state, your mind begins to associate past experiences and references with the incoming information of knowledge and automatically attempts to connect certain pieces together for you to make sense of it all. 

And when you take these thoughts floating around in your mind and concentrate on formulating them into structured and coherent sentences, you start to better understand the context. 

With a clear comprehension of the material, you’ll subconsciously seek out and naturally find more relevant knowledge that reinforces what you have begun to learn. 

This momentum and feeling of progress is invigorating. 

You slowly start to become what you think about. 

This is the secret to creating a change in identity.

To take things a step further and really accelerate the process, actually share your writing with family and friends. This produces a social contract of sorts where you will begin to convince yourself and feel more confident in the fact that that you know what you are talking about and that because you do so, that you now have to live in alignment with the information that you are writing down. 

Identity = changed

“It is not until you change your identity to match your life blueprint that you will understand why everything in the past never worked.” – Shannon L. Alder

P.S. – Now that you have written down the people you admire, the qualities you aspire to possess, and the knowledge that you’ve retained and shared with others, it’s really helpful to create your own database/bible of “principles” (that you can constantly update) that you strive to live by (here’s mine for reference – Principles to live by)

We all have deeply held values and beliefs, some of which we consciously know of and others that are buried within our subconscious.

When it comes to achieving a certain outcome these convictions can help us or they can hurt us. 

Unfortunately most people don’t ever attain worthy goals primarily due to two reasons.

The first is that they use the wrong approach to accomplishing them. 

As James Clear details in his book Atomic Habits, most people focus on outcome based habits (I’m going to start meditating) when the secret is to focus on identity based habits/who you want to become (I am going to become a person who meditates and finds profound peace in my life by blocking out 30 minutes each morning specifically to meditate).

The second is that most of their beliefs are outdated or unknown (I failed a writing class 15 years ago in college so that still makes me a bad writer today).

To fix this, it starts by taking the time to think about your values so that they are perfectly clear and understood. It’s quite possible to uncover that you don’t like some of these beliefs that have gone unquestioned and not even consciously recognized for years, decades or even a lifetime. 

If you’re having a little bit of trouble getting started, use the powerful scenario below:

You are ill and going to pass away very soon. You have one piece of paper and a pencil to leave your unborn children with (if you have children, imagine them still being very young). Use this paper to write down the values, wisdom and insights that you want to leave your children with in hopes that they apply and embody them throughout their lifetime. 

Below are mine.

-Practice to appreciate what you have right now in this very moment, as nothing is permanent and all can be taken away without asking or notice. 

-Don’t compare yourself to others, but rather focus on the potential that you are capable of becoming/achieving

-Be aware of the thoughts in your own head and focus on turning negative ones into positive ones.

-Realize that the little moments in life are what living is all about and are what make up our lives.

-Smile, laugh, be silly and don’t take 99% of life seriously.

-When you find yourself stressing, worrying, anxious or sad just remember that you have the option to try to look at the situation from different perspectives, ones that can bring out more positive emotions and minimize the others. 

-Breathe!

-Your body and your mind are your temple, take care of them and put them in an environment where they can thrive.

-Don’t solely rely on others for anything, remember that everything you ever need can be found within.

-Stand up for what you believe in and never fear failure (it’s temporary), but rather welcome it with open arms as when you fail you gain experience/value lessons that help long term.

-Read books, as many as you can on topics of interest/what you think may help you grow, and be sure to take notes and revisit them. 

-Take time to disconnect and be with your thoughts.

-A positive attitude and persistence is the secret to attaining any worthwhile goal.

-Be impeccable with your word and always ask questions.

-Writing/journaling is a powerful medium in becoming happier and more grateful, as well as an effective way to motivate yourself to become who you want to be.

-Share your learnings and experiences with others. As you strive to learn and grow, you can help those around you do so as well. 

-Fall in love with the journey and your daily routine of rituals, as this is one of the secrets to true happiness and success, not any specific goal or accomplishment.

By thinking about and then writing down the values and beliefs that you’d want your children to possess, you’re naturally creating the identity and person that you ultimately want to become. 

Whether you consciously pursue these virtues or not, your subconscious mind has already begun to activate them and before you know it you’ll start to act in alignment with and become them (which paradoxically helps you also achieve your outcome based goals). 

“Before you can do something you first must be something. Act as the person you wish to become.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

When most people think about their greatest ambitions in life, they typically pair it with a laundry list of excuses on why they cannot achieve it right this moment.

Whether it be due to not having enough money, or time, or because everybody and everything is simply unfair to them, all of these excuses have compiled and compounded over your life as a result of the experiences that you’ve encountered.

Yet, you know very well of others out there who are wildly successful, who have attained tremendous heights and have made incredible impacts on the lives of millions of others. You tell yourself, they’re lucky, they had money to start, or any and every other excuse that you can think of to make yourself feel better.

But is this the truth?

If you had the money or the time, would you really be able to succeed at the same level as these others?  

Per the book Psycho Cybernetics, all of your behaviors are consistent with the self image that you’ve subconsciously given yourself.

In other words, you are limited in life to the self image that’s been created over time through your life experiences.

If you believe this planet hates you, then that’s the reality you live in, and your actions and emotions reflect that world. Deep within without even controlling it, you constantly seek to validate and reinforce this belief, ultimately leading to a low self image value.

What you need to know is that this low self image is DESTROYING your potential in life.

It’s the main reason and driving force behind why you haven’t taken the leap into the amazing unknown that’s filled with infinite possibilities and opportunities that can lead to you living a life filled with meaning and purpose.

It’s literally impossible for you to go after and achieve your goals without first increasing your self image.

It’s time to say F the BS!

Now that you know…

• that your self image value is in the shitter (sorry, but it’s the truth)
• that if you want to make a serious move in life for the better you must increase its value

you can begin focusing your awareness towards what will actually move the needle, which is eliminating your current “false” beliefs.

Think about your past experiences.

What stands out the most when you go as far back as you can remember.

Whether it be a bully during your school days that made you feel inferior to speak up to others, or a teacher or parent that drilled into your head that you will never be able to achieve a certain goal leading to you shooting for something less desirable, these past stories have deeply affected your mindset (and honestly, it’s not your fault so don’t be hard on yourself).  

What you need to understand is that these are nothing more than stories, mental barriers that have been blocking you from making positive improvements and changes in your life.

You can break down these walls and change your wiring of beliefs.

You can tell yourself right in this very moment that these past experiences are no longer going to affect your behaviors and decisions that you make moving forward, that they are false beliefs that have manifested into a reality that you do not want to live in anymore.

It is completely in your power to be like the many others who are living and breathing with a self image value that is so high, that they are able to inspire the world and obtain their aspirations regardless of any past circumstances.

The decision is in your hands, in this moment, right now.

“Never measure your self-worth by what other people think you should have become.” -Anonymous

What’s stopping you right now from going after your lifelong passion?

If your circumstances were just right, would you be able to pursue your destiny?

If you answered yes to the second question, than you’re fooling yourself.

The fact of the matter is, your current conditions do not shape or determine your future.

The key element that enables you to stop making excuses and to start excelling are your decisions.

I recently finished reading Tony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within, which is an absolutely incredible and life changing book.

Tony talks about the force behind every decision that we make deriving from either avoiding pain or gaining pleasure.

So let’s be brutally honest for a moment.

The reason you don’t do the truly important things in your life (like living it up to its fullest and ensuring you succeed at achieving your dreams) is because you subconsciously convince yourself that by taking any type of action towards these goals (where you may have to confront your fears) you’d be putting yourself in more pain than just putting it off for another time, if ever at all.

Tony states that “we all do more to avoid pain than we do to gain pleasure”.

The issue with this concept is that the perceived “pain” that we do link to going after our greatest ambitions are a big fat lie.

It’s fake, make believe, not fucking real or true.

Instead of just saying fuck it like you may have when you were a child without thinking about any consequences, we allow our minds to take control and persuade us into thinking a million different negative reasons why we shouldn’t take the leap.

We tell ourselves that it’ll be too hard, or that we will fail, look stupid and lose the confidence that we do have.

But all of these excuses can cease to exist.

It’s possible to change these linking patterns that we we’ve unknowingly built up over our lives.

It’s time to say F the BS.

Below is an exercise that I learned from Awaken the Giant Within that you can perform on yourself. In the example below, I’ve used my own situation to help guide you.

Do this and you’ll discover the power of your decisions and how you can learn to link more pain to NOT pursuing your goals and more pleasure to going after them!

What is your ultimate passion in life?

Writing and publishing a book which can help make a meaningful impact for others and allow me to contribute more to society.

What actions have you been putting off from achieving this goal?

I’ve gotten to the point where I need to begin editing the book, and since I’m not an editor I’ve been delaying the process of getting started.

In addition, I know that I can improve the context within a few chapters, but now my mind has started thinking about the idea of the book not being as good as other books that I’ve read. It’s making me second guess the entire idea of writing.  

What pain have you linked to taking this action?

I’m linking the possibility of the book not being written as well as I know that it can be. 

Write down the pleasure you’ve had in the past by indulging in this negative pattern.

I’m able to push it to the side and not think about it all the time, which leads to less stress and worry.

I’m able to concentrate on other important parts of my life, which leads to improvement in other facets.

I’m able to convince myself that when I’m ready I’ll get to it, which leads to me feeling content.

Write down what it will cost you if you don’t change now.

If I don’t change now…

I may lose my flow and never finish writing or publishing the book.

I may fail at achieving my ultimate passion.

Hows does that make you feel?

It makes me feel like my roadblocks aren’t as extreme in the big picture, that not attaining my goal would feel much worse, and that I should focus on completing the essential tasks that I need to in order to go after my passion.

Write down all the pleasure you’ll receive by taking each of these actions right now. Envision all the positive impacts both in the present and in the long term.

By editing my book and improving the certain chapters that need to be bolstered, I’ll be able to take one step closer to successfully publishing my book. It’ll give me back the momentum that I felt when I was writing the book originally.

In doing so, it will allow me to then promote the book and help make a positive impact on all of the others that read it.

Even more so, by spreading the word about my book via podcasts, videos, content, social media, etc, I will be able to not only learn the process of marketing a book, but also educate people on different aspects of my central messages (without them necessarily reading the book) that will lead to making an impact in their lives.

Considering the book will be available to purchase for years to come, there’s no telling the number of lives it can impact. Also, it can give me the confidence I need to go after writing a second or even third book. This could lead to building new relationships, going further out of my comfort zone, trying out new things (like public speaking and becoming a coach/offering lessons), growing as a person, contributing more and ultimately gaining way more pleasure in my life.

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” —Tony Robbins”

When broken down the word Kaizen is composed of “kai” which means change, and “zen” which means good. Good change, change good!

It’s described as a process of continuous improvement in small steps that compound over time.

The principle/strategy can be implemented into every facet of our life and can help us maximize our chances of achieving our greatest ambitions.

So how does one ensure success by applying the kaizen principle, you might ask?

Let’s start off with a little bit of a science lesson.

After reading One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way written by Robert Maurer (he has a PhD, so he must be smart), I learned about the three different parts of the brain (forebrain, midbrain and the hindbrain). We are going to focus on the first two parts.

So the forebrain is where the Cortex lives. This is the part of the brain that makes us human, enabling us to think, have rational thoughts and creative impulses.

It’s home to where we can make changes in our lives.

The midbrain is where the amygdala is located, which creates our fight or flight responses. When the amygdala is in action other parts of the brain shut down (like the cortex) so that we can focus full efforts on fighting or flighting (like running away from a bear, or stupidly trying to attack it).

Essentially, when we induce fear we limit our access to the cortex. We aren’t able to go after what we want.

What I’m trying to get at is that the reason kaizen is so powerful and effective is due to the way it works to bypass the amygdala/fear (which blocks creativity) allowing us to use the cortex to its full potential.

Simply put, if you focus on small and easily attainable goals you can circumnavigate the triggers of the amygdala and tap into the impetus of the cortex.

Think about a time when you got really excited about an idea or a new goal for yourself. You started putting together a bunch of plans and actions to begin executing them, and then within a few days or maybe a week later you gave up.

Why did this happen? You were so excited about this idea/goal just a week ago! You signed up to the local gym, went and bought all this new apparel and supplements and were destined to lose 30 pounds.

The fact of the matter is, you blew your load too quick.

You set yourself up for failure not by creating too lofty of a goal, but by the steps and actions you convinced yourself you had to take to achieve it. You began telling yourself, this is harder than I thought. How am I going to keep coming to the gym every day and doing all these exercises, how am I going to keep eating healthy and not go for the junk food, etc.

All of this resulted in a sense of feeling overwhelmed and fearful, ultimately allowing your amygdala to do its thing and that was that.

The name of the game in life is to NOT blow your load too fast.

Slow and steady wins the race.

F the BS: Use the Kaizen Principle Right Now to Achieve Your Goals

Everything we do is based upon gaining more pleasure and moving away from any pain.

When we create a goal, it’s PAINFUL to think about all of the things we must do to achieve it. It’s much more PLEASUREable to just push it to the side and continue living our lives, even if that means staying fat, overweight and unhealthy.

It’s when we finally decide that it’s more painful to stay this way that we begin making changes.

But how can we ever come to this realization without letting our amygdala ruin the show?

With that in mind, you must begin to ask yourself small questions (your brain loves questions, as it allows you to investigate into the inquiry and seek answers).

Ask yourself, “What small benefit can I receive from doing just 30 seconds of (air squats, push ups, crunches, etc) per day”?

By asking questions (in a gentle manner) and taking micro steps, it allows for inspiration and creativity to kick in and begins to motivate you to want more. Plus, small questions aren’t scary, enabling you to keep the amygdala fast asleep.

Before you know it, you’ll be doing 1 minute worth of exercises per day and gradually work your way up. Just remember that it’s important to keep the objectives small, as if you begin to feel like you dread doing it then you know that it’s too excessive and you must limit yourself to where it feels effortless.

Effortless is the key here!

If you can begin to turn the wheel of momentum by focusing on small and effortless goals, you will subconsciously convince yourself that these tasks aren’t painful and are in fact filling you with a sense of pleasure. Once you get to this point, there is absolutely nothing that can prevent you from accomplishing your aspirations.

“Small actions are at the heart of kaizen. By taking steps so tiny that they seem trivial or even laughable, you’ll sail calmly past obstacles that have defeated you before. Slowly – but painlessly! – you’ll cultivate an appetite for continued success and lay down a permanent new route to change.” – Robert Maurer