Expressing Gratitude for What We’ve Been Given For Free

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When was the last time you contemplated and expressed gratitude for the things that you were given for free in this life?

Approximately 80% of older adults have at least one chronic disease. 

Almost 40% of people over the age of 65 experience some form of memory loss.

Around 795 million people around the world are deprived of enough food to lead a healthy active life (1 in 9 people on earth). 

Your health, your ability to create new memories/recollect old ones and where you were born/raised are some of the many things that were given to you for free, without you ever asking for them. 

It’s all too easy for us to get caught up in the day to day of our lives, focusing on external goals and possessions that we seek to attain or pay for.  

Unfortunately when we do this, we typically leave no room for thought or consideration about what matters most. 

Instead of being actively grateful and truly appreciating what’s been given to us for free, it’s put on the back burner and taken for granted.

Can you imagine no longer being able to use your memory? 

It’s something that is constantly being used throughout your entire life and helps connect you to the world.

Without memory we wouldn’t be able to remember past experiences, and without past experiences we wouldn’t be able to have any references to who we are as a person. 

How scary of a world would it be to wake up one day and not know who you are? 

Stop what you’re doing for a while. 

Make the decision to pause for a moment and disconnect from the hustle and bustle of daily life. 

Give priority to focusing your attention towards what you’re grateful for, especially those things that you’ve been blessed with for free.

Once this is turned into a habit, your life will permanently change for the better. You’ll begin to strengthen your inner peace of mind and develop an unwavering sense of happiness that lasts forever. 

“Everything that’s really worthwhile in life comes to us free – our minds, our souls, our bodies, our hopes, our dreams, our intelligence, our love of family and friends and country. All of these priceless possessions are free.” – Earl Nightingale

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Taking Control of Life by Learning to Upgrade Your Mind

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Throughout the course of life it becomes apparent that many situations we find ourselves in are out of our control. As much as we like to believe and sometimes convince ourselves that we have more authority over outcomes in our life, it’s simply not reality.

Fortunately, there is something that we do have complete control over and that’s our thoughts and feelings that we tie to life’s circumstances. 

Epictetus once said, “Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen.”

Many people go through their existence without ever questioning why they act or react in certain ways as a response to what happens in their lives. 

Luckily you can steer clear of being like this by understanding and then applying what you read below!

Just like our phones and computers receive occasional software updates, our minds are fully capable of being updated as well.

Past conditioning that might’ve worked well for you during your childhood years can now be an impediment on your ability to maintain a healthy relationship, hold on to a job or even just be able to deal with daily life. 

Take a few moments to disconnect digitally and sit alone with your thoughts.

Ask yourself questions such as:

“What emotions do I feel often that are negatively impacting my life?” 

“What typically triggers these emotions?” 

“Why do I feel these emotions during these trigger situations?”

Let’s take for example my impatience for getting stuck in traffic. 

Immediately I begin to get agitated and if anyone is in the car with me they can quickly sense it. I may become short with them or act rude, and in return I destroy my peace of mind, which can end up lasting long after the traffic subsides.

I’ve been working on upgrading my mind for quite some time and I’m always seeking out situations where negative emotions are triggered so that I can debug and improve my livelihood.

Once you determine the specific emotions that are impacting your life negatively, the trick is to become consciously aware of it as the situation begins to unfold in real time. 

This can be difficult at first and in most cases you’ll end up recognizing it only after your emotions have already gotten the best of you, but this is positive as well because you’re still becoming aware of it. 

As you practice with consistent repetition, you’re providing your subconscious with new context that is related to the present moment. You’re telling yourself that getting annoyed during traffic is an outdated automatic behavior that no longer suits you. 

According to John Yates, author of The Mind Illuminated, the longer we can be mindful in a particular situation, the more new information becomes available and the more mindfulness can work its magic…consciousness can continue to pick up on and communicate the consequences of the event and their effects on our mental state long afterward.

Essentially, by making a conscious effort to become aware of your triggers and the emotions that follow them, you can reprogram your mind to react differently the next time the scenario presents itself. 

It is in your capacity to control how you react and feel about anything and everything that happens in your life, for better or for worse. 

This is a very special gift that is bestowed upon all humans, and if taken advantage of, can produce positive changes in life and provide a profound sense of empowerment and salvation. 

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Attaining Happiness by Detaching from Outcomes

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In this modern world that we live in, everything is about instant gratification.

You’re phone makes a noise and instantly you know that you just received a text message, so you stop what you’re doing to open your phone and read it. The same goes for social media posts, every like or comment you get gives you a high feeling. 

Yet, when it comes to happiness the majority of us are perfectly content with delaying the gratification until an arbitrary or set goal is achieved.

But why? 

This widespread mindset and attitude is totally flawed. 

By holding off on feeling happy, you make the goal you strive for as the end all be all. Without much conscious thought, you automatically determine that only once you’ve attained this goal will you then feel happiness and all of the positive feelings that accompany it. 

You’re subconsciously deciding to give yourself permission to feel happy only based on an outcome.

While there’s a strong possibility that once you do reach your goal you’ll feel like you’re experiencing joy and/or pride, in reality it will be more so a fleeting sense of relief. Once these short lived sensations pass, you’ll simply move on to the next goal in front of you and repeat the vicious cycle again and again. 

This is no way to live life. 

Happiness lives in and can only be felt in the present, not in the future when you hope to achieve your ideals.  

Do you really think that once you reach your aspirations you’ll just magically and permanently feel happiness and everything that isn’t going well in your life will instantly turn around for the better?

I call bullshit. 

Instead of focusing so much of your time and energy on a big event/goal, it’s essential to shift your mindset and attitude by detaching from outcomes. 

F the BS: It’s time you realize that you can be happy right NOW, regardless of your circumstances. 

It starts by realizing that you are both your best friend and your worst enemy. Mastering the self is the most difficult yet most rewarding thing you can do in your life.

You can begin to create positive habits and routines in your daily life. Instilling rituals that enable you to slow down, reflect on your life and discover and release regrets/resentment about your past and anxiety/stress about the future. 

Once you can take a deep look within and eradicate these negative emotions, you can start to live in the present moment. When you live in the present, you’ll enter into a state called flow which will naturally make you feel happy and grateful (paradoxically it will also allow you to attain goals easier). 

As you practice with persistence and consistency, you’ll begin to realize that life is all about the journey and trying to live in the moment as much as possible. 

Our daily habits and routines are what remains long after any big goal is ever reached. It’s actually the small wins that we constantly achieve that cumulatively add up throughout our lives that have the most profound impact on us.

Only when we become enlightened by these revelations can we truly attain a lifetime of infinite happiness, despite any specific situation that we find ourselves in. 

“To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one’s family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.” Gautama Buddha

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Achieving your goals by becoming who you want to be

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We all have deeply held values and beliefs, some of which we consciously know of and others that are buried within our subconscious.

When it comes to achieving a certain outcome these convictions can help us or they can hurt us. 

Unfortunately most people don’t ever attain worthy goals primarily due to two reasons.

The first is that they use the wrong approach to accomplishing them. 

As James Clear details in his book Atomic Habits, most people focus on outcome based habits (I’m going to start meditating) when the secret is to focus on identity based habits/who you want to become (I am going to become a person who meditates and finds profound peace in my life by blocking out 30 minutes each morning specifically to meditate).

The second is that most of their beliefs are outdated or unknown (I failed a writing class 15 years ago in college so that still makes me a bad writer today).

To fix this, it starts by taking the time to think about your values so that they are perfectly clear and understood. It’s quite possible to uncover that you don’t like some of these beliefs that have gone unquestioned and not even consciously recognized for years, decades or even a lifetime. 

If you’re having a little bit of trouble getting started, use the powerful scenario below:

You are ill and going to pass away very soon. You have one piece of paper and a pencil to leave your unborn children with (if you have children, imagine them still being very young). Use this paper to write down the values, wisdom and insights that you want to leave your children with in hopes that they apply and embody them throughout their lifetime. 

Below are mine.

-Practice to appreciate what you have right now in this very moment, as nothing is permanent and all can be taken away without asking or notice. 

-Don’t compare yourself to others, but rather focus on the potential that you are capable of becoming/achieving

-Be aware of the thoughts in your own head and focus on turning negative ones into positive ones.

-Realize that the little moments in life are what living is all about and are what make up our lives.

-Smile, laugh, be silly and don’t take 99% of life seriously.

-When you find yourself stressing, worrying, anxious or sad just remember that you have the option to try to look at the situation from different perspectives, ones that can bring out more positive emotions and minimize the others. 

-Breathe!

-Your body and your mind are your temple, take care of them and put them in an environment where they can thrive.

-Don’t solely rely on others for anything, remember that everything you ever need can be found within.

-Stand up for what you believe in and never fear failure (it’s temporary), but rather welcome it with open arms as when you fail you gain experience/value lessons that help long term.

-Read books, as many as you can on topics of interest/what you think may help you grow, and be sure to take notes and revisit them. 

-Take time to disconnect and be with your thoughts.

-A positive attitude and persistence is the secret to attaining any worthwhile goal.

-Be impeccable with your word and always ask questions.

-Writing/journaling is a powerful medium in becoming happier and more grateful, as well as an effective way to motivate yourself to become who you want to be.

-Share your learnings and experiences with others. As you strive to learn and grow, you can help those around you do so as well. 

-Fall in love with the journey and your daily routine of rituals, as this is one of the secrets to true happiness and success, not any specific goal or accomplishment.

 

By thinking about and then writing down the values and beliefs that you’d want your children to possess, you’re naturally creating the identity and person that you ultimately want to become. 

Whether you consciously pursue these virtues or not, your subconscious mind has already begun to activate them and before you know it you’ll start to act in alignment with and become them (which paradoxically helps you also achieve your outcome based goals). 

Before you can do something you first must be something. Act as the person you wish to become.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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What’s the Point of Life?

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Taking the time to stop and realize just how small we are in the grand scheme of things can help one see life from a refreshing perspective.

Imagine zooming out from the city you live in and seeing the entire city from high above along with a tiny dot of where you are, then zooming out from the state and doing the same thing, then from the continent, the entire planet of earth, the moon, our galaxy. Then try to fathom the concept that we live in just one galaxy amongst billions to trillions of other galaxies in a universe that is ever expanding. 

It naturally makes you think of asking the question, what’s the point of life?

While it’s quite possible that there is no true meaning of life, here’s my take on it.

We are here for a short blip of time, and then we die. There’s no guarantee that we will still be ourselves when we pass away, or that we will even know that we once lived and existed in this world that we call our home. Or that there will be anything at all.  

So why not take the time to strengthen our minds through the power of reason and thought?

Why not take the time to better understand our true values and beliefs, so that we can then create rituals to act upon each day that serve as our guide towards achieving and maintaining those subconscious convictions deeply rooted within? 

To take the time to become disciplined so that we can discover and unlock our potential and push ourselves to the limits on what we are capable of.

To take up the technique of meditation, so that we can slow our minds down, feeling the calmness and peace from within that can be carried throughout each passing day and utilized to help navigate the plethora of decisions that must be made practically every second. 

To learn the ways of the ancient Stoics, such as that life is filled with impermanence. That everything we have is on loan and can be taken back at any moment without any given notice.

That it isn’t just about living every day as if it were your last, but every moment as if it were your last.

That’s the unique thing about life, most of the time we never know the exact moment when it will be our time to go. Taking the time to recognize that each time you do something could be the very last time you do that specific thing can exponentially increase your capacity for joy and gratitude. 

So while we are here, through my life experiences up until this point, it makes most sense to me that we focus on figuring out what is truly important to each and every one of us, and then fighting for it and never settling for anything less.

That we take leaps of faith into the unknown, we view fear, mistakes and failures as allies and the golden ticket to being able to strengthen ourselves and take our lives to a new heightened level and more improved version of what we once were.

That we realize that time is the greatest and most valuable currency of all. That we are given the same amount of hours in a day regardless of our net worth and that it’s in our control to choose how we spend it. 

True success isn’t about the amount of money you have in your bank account, the material possessions you own, the recognition you receive from others or about reaching a specific goal. 

True success is the feeling of knowing that you have chosen the right path in this one life that you have to live, of who you have evolved into becoming while on the journey and ultimately what you’re able to give and share with others because of it. 

While we may be basically meaningless in the big picture of the universe, in this very moment of time we are breathing and alive and have it in our hands  to live purposeful and fulfilling lives.

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Our Capacity for Joy

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Most of us don’t take the time to disconnect. 

To sit and relax by taking a few deep breaths. To close our eyes and meditate or reflect on our lives and just how precious, delicate and incredible it truly is.  

Life races by while we are on auto-pilot, never fully present.

It’s usually not until something devastating happens that we really get a wake up call. That our senses and emotions kick into high gear and we begin to consciously think about our lives and its impermanence. 

Life. is. Impermanent.

We know that nothing lasts forever, that all good things come to an end. 

Yet, we take those good things for granted and before we know it, they’re gone. Never having truly appreciated it. Never having intentionally set aside the time to just exist and mindfully contemplate over how grateful we are for what we do have. 

With the recent death of NBA legend Kobe Bryant, his 13 year old daughter and the other people that were on board the helicopter that crashed in California, grief has reverberated throughout the world. 

Powerful shock waves of life’s impermanence and times of cruelty have pulsated through our mind, body and soul, forcing us to confront the hard truth that we own and control next to nothing in this world. 

And it’s in these times of realization that we come alive, fully present and alert, and start to focus on what’s truly important in this concept we call life. 

But it doesn’t have to be this way. 

We can become more present in our waking moments. We can stop taking what’s valuable to us for granted and start appreciating and loving more, both big and small. We can begin to feel how lucky we are for life and cherish waking up each day, being able to breathe, smile, laugh, hug, speak, hear, walk, feel, see. 

Through the practice of both positive and negative visualization, we can achieve all of this. And when we decide it’s finally time to engage in and pursue this technique that dates back to thousands of years ago, we can do something that every human being consciously or unconsciously strives for. 

We can increase our capacity for joy. 

“By contemplating the impermanence of everything in the world, we are forced to recognize that every time we do something could be the last time we do it, and this recognition can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent.” – William B. Irvine

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Blaze your own Trail: Start taking Action and you’ll get what you Deserve

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The famous motivational speaker and author Jim Rohn once said,

“Life doesn’t respond to what we need, life responds to what we deserve…it doesn’t say if you need a harvest you get one, it says, if you plant in the spring then you’ll get harvest in the fall…reaping and harvesting belong to planters, not to those in need”

What’s stopping you from starting to take action today, to begin planting seeds, so that you ultimately end up getting what you deserve in life?

Around the time I had graduated college back in 2012, I came across a Facebook ad for a fantasy sports company (this was when I was still working on building out my own fantasy sports application).

I decided to click the ad and fill out the survey to see what insights it could give me.

Without much thought, yet due to that simple action, I had planted one of the most important seeds of my life.

Someone reached back out and told me that the company was tied to and ran by a much larger and well known company.

Long story short, they ended up hiring me to help them with their beta version/launch (although I was working on my own application at the time, I was fresh out of college and needed income! I’m pretty sure I also disclosed that I was working on being somewhat of a competitor of theirs).

I was put in touch with the product manager who was my main point of contact, and during those few months of working together he encouraged me to start reading books.

This was the first time I picked up a book to read for pleasure.

He recommended me to start with Phil Jackson’s newest book Eleven Rings and I absolutely loved it!

Circling back to the fantasy sports ad that at the time seemed meaningless, that action enabled me to plant a seed that has blossomed into a beautiful tree.

Since then, I’ve been an insatiable reader. The knowledge and wisdom gained from reading books has truly helped me grow in every aspect of my life for the better.

It’s allowed many of my unconscious dreams come to fruition…all from that Facebook ad.

(Months later, I would go on and perform another small action that would put me at the start of a path towards everything that I would end up accomplishing in my professional/business life to date).

There’s a verse in the bible that says,

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

The point I’m trying to make here (if you haven’t gotten it yet!) is that if you keep knocking, you WILL find open doors.

Even in the smallest actions that may seem irrelevant and unimportant at the time, opportunity always lays. 

It’s time to say F the BS and start blazing your own trail!

“Those who will not read are no better off than those who cannot read.” – Jim Rohn

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How Your Self Image is Destroying Your Potential in Life

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When most people think about their greatest ambitions in life, they typically pair it with a laundry list of excuses on why they cannot achieve it right this moment.

Whether it be due to not having enough money, or time, or because everybody and everything is simply unfair to them, all of these excuses have compiled and compounded over your life as a result of the experiences that you’ve encountered.

Yet, you know very well of others out there who are wildly successful, who have attained tremendous heights and have made incredible impacts on the lives of millions of others. You tell yourself, they’re lucky, they had money to start, or any and every other excuse that you can think of to make yourself feel better.

But is this the truth?

If you had the money or the time, would you really be able to succeed at the same level as these others?  

Per the book Psycho Cybernetics, all of your behaviors are consistent with the self image that you’ve subconsciously given yourself.

In other words, you are limited in life to the self image that’s been created over time through your life experiences.

If you believe this planet hates you, then that’s the reality you live in, and your actions and emotions reflect that world. Deep within without even controlling it, you constantly seek to validate and reinforce this belief, ultimately leading to a low self image value.

What you need to know is that this low self image is DESTROYING your potential in life.

It’s the main reason and driving force behind why you haven’t taken the leap into the amazing unknown that’s filled with infinite possibilities and opportunities that can lead to you living a life filled with meaning and purpose.

It’s literally impossible for you to go after and achieve your goals without first increasing your self image.

It’s time to say F the BS!

Now that you know…

  • that your self image value is in the shitter (sorry, but it’s the truth)
  • that if you want to make a serious move in life for the better you must increase its value

you can begin focusing your awareness towards what will actually move the needle, which is eliminating your current “false” beliefs.

Think about your past experiences.

What stands out the most when you go as far back as you can remember.

Whether it be a bully during your school days that made you feel inferior to speak up to others, or a teacher or parent that drilled into your head that you will never be able to achieve a certain goal leading to you shooting for something less desirable, these past stories have deeply affected your mindset (and honestly, it’s not your fault so don’t be hard on yourself).  

What you need to understand is that these are nothing more than stories, mental barriers that have been blocking you from making positive improvements and changes in your life.

You can break down these walls and change your wiring of beliefs.

You can tell yourself right in this very moment that these past experiences are no longer going to affect your behaviors and decisions that you make moving forward, that they are false beliefs that have manifested into a reality that you do not want to live in anymore.

It is completely in your power to be like the many others who are living and breathing with a self image value that is so high, that they are able to inspire the world and obtain their aspirations regardless of any past circumstances.

The decision is in your hands, in this moment, right now.

“Never measure your self-worth by what other people think you should have become.” -Anonymous

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It’s Time to Stop Making Excuses and Start Excelling

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What’s stopping you right now from going after your lifelong passion?

If your circumstances were just right, would you be able to pursue your destiny?

If you answered yes to the second question, than you’re fooling yourself.

The fact of the matter is, your current conditions do not shape or determine your future.

The key element that enables you to stop making excuses and to start excelling are your decisions.

I recently finished reading Tony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within, which is an absolutely incredible and life changing book.

Tony talks about the force behind every decision that we make deriving from either avoiding pain or gaining pleasure.

So let’s be brutally honest for a moment.

The reason you don’t do the truly important things in your life (like living it up to its fullest and ensuring you succeed at achieving your dreams) is because you subconsciously convince yourself that by taking any type of action towards these goals (where you may have to confront your fears) you’d be putting yourself in more pain than just putting it off for another time, if ever at all.

Tony states that “we all do more to avoid pain than we do to gain pleasure”.

The issue with this concept is that the perceived “pain” that we do link to going after our greatest ambitions are a big fat lie.

It’s fake, make believe, not fucking real or true.

Instead of just saying fuck it like you may have when you were a child without thinking about any consequences, we allow our minds to take control and persuade us into thinking a million different negative reasons why we shouldn’t take the leap.

We tell ourselves that it’ll be too hard, or that we will fail, look stupid and lose the confidence that we do have.

But all of these excuses can cease to exist.

It’s possible to change these linking patterns that we we’ve unknowingly built up over our lives.

It’s time to say F the BS.

Below is an exercise that I learned from Awaken the Giant Within that you can perform on yourself. In the example below, I’ve used my own situation to help guide you.

Do this and you’ll discover the power of your decisions and how you can learn to link more pain to NOT pursuing your goals and more pleasure to going after them!

What is your ultimate passion in life?

Writing and publishing a book which can help make a meaningful impact for others and allow me to contribute more to society.

What actions have you been putting off from achieving this goal?

I’ve gotten to the point where I need to begin editing the book, and since I’m not an editor I’ve been delaying the process of getting started.

In addition, I know that I can improve the context within a few chapters, but now my mind has started thinking about the idea of the book not being as good as other books that I’ve read. It’s making me second guess the entire idea of writing.  

What pain have you linked to taking this action?

I’m linking the possibility of the book not being written as well as I know that it can be. 

Write down the pleasure you’ve had in the past by indulging in this negative pattern.

I’m able to push it to the side and not think about it all the time, which leads to less stress and worry.

I’m able to concentrate on other important parts of my life, which leads to improvement in other facets.

I’m able to convince myself that when I’m ready I’ll get to it, which leads to me feeling content.

Write down what it will cost you if you don’t change now.

If I don’t change now…

I may lose my flow and never finish writing or publishing the book.

I may fail at achieving my ultimate passion.

Hows does that make you feel?

It makes me feel like my roadblocks aren’t as extreme in the big picture, that not attaining my goal would feel much worse, and that I should focus on completing the essential tasks that I need to in order to go after my passion.

Write down all the pleasure you’ll receive by taking each of these actions right now. Envision all the positive impacts both in the present and in the long term.

By editing my book and improving the certain chapters that need to be bolstered, I’ll be able to take one step closer to successfully publishing my book. It’ll give me back the momentum that I felt when I was writing the book originally.

In doing so, it will allow me to then promote the book and help make a positive impact on all of the others that read it.

Even more so, by spreading the word about my book via podcasts, videos, content, social media, etc, I will be able to not only learn the process of marketing a book, but also educate people on different aspects of my central messages (without them necessarily reading the book) that will lead to making an impact in their lives.

Considering the book will be available to purchase for years to come, there’s no telling the number of lives it can impact. Also, it can give me the confidence I need to go after writing a second or even third book. This could lead to building new relationships, going further out of my comfort zone, trying out new things (like public speaking and becoming a coach/offering lessons), growing as a person, contributing more and ultimately gaining way more pleasure in my life.

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” —Tony Robbins”

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When’s the last time you weren’t in a rush?

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When’s the last time you asked yourself that question?

Everything in our lives is sped up to the max. We convince ourselves that we have so much to do with so little time, but is it really the truth?

More than half the stuff we do on a daily basis could most likely be eliminated without any immediate negative impact on our lives, yet we insist on doing them anyway (despite the consequences).

It’s time to try to slow the fuck down. It’s time to ask yourself important questions like “When’s the last time I wasn’t in a rush?” and figure out ways to actually do it versus getting side tracked by our cell phones.

If we just take a moment to sit, away from all of the digital media, we can begin to relax, ease up and reflect.

Take one minute out of your day today to just recognize your breathing. Feel the natural patterns of your inhalation and exhalation. Feel how it feels to focus in on the breathe.

By doing this small action, you can distract your mind for just a brief moment and attain some equanimity in your busy life.

From there, you can begin to see things from a clearer lens. You can approach the rest of your day with a more composed state of mind.

You can choose to slow things down, feel less rushed and find a sense of happiness and gratitude during this precise blip in time.

“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.” – Eddie Cantor

Being in a hurry does not slow down time.” – Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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