Category: Mindset/Awareness

Children are interesting. They’re born and then before you know it, they’re already walking and talking.

Once the talking stage begins, their imagination truly comes out which allows them to create stories and use their facial expressions to show just how much they believe in the fairy tales that they narrate.

If you ask them a personal question knowing that the answer could potentially hurt your feelings, they’ll quickly give you an honest and direct response without batting an eye.

Take my niece for example. When she was around 6 or 7 I asked her to look at my teeth and tell me whether or not they were yellow. Without hesitation she said that they were.

I then asked her which specific ones were yellow, and she proceeded to go one by one and point out which teeth in my mouth were yellow.

How’s that for being completely blunt!

We can learn a lot from children, especially when it comes to how little they give a fuck about (or can even understand at certain ages) the repercussions of potentially sensitive subjects.

F the BS: It’s time to learn to not give a fuck

The next time you catch yourself contemplating on how to approach a delicate situation personally, or you find that you feel like you’re walking on eggshells during a sticky scenario at work, pause for a second and think about the potential outcome if you were to say fuck it and tell whoever you’re speaking to how it really is and should be.

If the worst case scenario isn’t too bad, try to be a complete straight-shooter with zero fucks given and see what happens.

Sometimes to succeed and get by in life you have to stand up, be pushy and aggressive and fight hard for what you truly believe deep down is right. Not only can this result in getting what you want out of the situation, but even more so it can attract and accumulate respect.

People who learn to live life as an ethical asshole (one who approaches situations very pragmatically and sternly to ensure they get their way, even if there’s potential to hurt one’s feelings) typically excel and get further ahead in certain aspects of life because they know what they want and they go after it and take it, saying F it to repercussions that don’t necessarily have significant impact.

To wrap it up…

If you really want something in life, and I mean REALLY want it, sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, confront the BS head on (whether it’s internally or externally) and take what’s rightfully yours.

In some cases, NOT doing so can have a major negative impact and trajectory on your life.

Don’t let that happen to yourself, be a dick if you must!

“Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what’s truly fuckworthy.” – Mark Manson

We’ve discussed how to slow down in today’s busy world through recognizing your thinking patterns and implementing basic breathing exercises at times when you’re overwhelmed.

In addition, we’ve dug into the impact of reflecting and how you can learn to sit back inside of your mind and dissociate from “being” your thoughts. How you can teach yourself to simply watch and observe every thought that pops up as they come and go, without judgement. And how through this awareness, you can then extract subconscious thoughts from within and connect important and sometimes life discovering dots together.

Today I wanted to focus attention on the practice of meditation, which is another unbelievable tool that can be applied to obtain a deep sense of inner peace, awareness and gratitude. It offers a wide array of health benefits and can truly help slow you down in every sense of the meaning, especially when you feel like you’re going 100 miles an hour on all cylinders.

Through meditation you can achieve a state of mindfulness where you’re fully aware and immersed within the present moment. Through diligent practice, during this unique and incredible moment in time (it could last for only a split second) your thoughts magically (and temporarily, of course) pause.

You become so focused on the act of meditating that your thought machine quietly shuts down and takes a much needed break.

Now let me ask you a few questions: 

When’s the last time you weren’t in a rush?

When’s the last time you intentionally went an hour without picking up your phone during the day?

The hidden human superpower in this day and age is being AWARE.

Being aware of your thoughts and learning how to control them.

Being aware that you feel rushed and in a hurry to speed up, and gaining the ability to instantly slow down at a moments notice.

Being aware that you’ve spent over 5 unproductive hours on your phone in one day, while picking it up over 300 times throughout that span of time, and figuring out a way to take a step back and focus on the present.

This sense of life altering awareness can be achieved through meditation.

F the BS: It’s time to learn to meditate so that you can harness the power of awareness  

Obvious Disclaimer: I’m not a meditation expert. My insights below are from my research, findings and experiences through meditating. There’s no one size fits all approach here. Do what makes you feel most comfortable and focused. 

When meditating, you want to make sure you perform the practice in a very relaxing and calm environment. Some say to do it in a place where you only use this specific area for the sole purpose of meditation. (I enjoy meditating in the morning, but you can realistically do it whenever you have some down time to relax and focus).

Ideally, you want to either

-sit in a comfortable chair ensuring you have proper posture
-sit on the floor with your legs crossed with proper posture
-lay completely down with your arms and shoulders relaxed (I prefer this option, especially for those with back pain).

In terms of the style of meditation, below are three different types that I’ve used in the past and still use today (apparently there’s over 20 different types to choose from!).

Guided Meditation

These days there’s a ton of apps that offer guided meditation. This is when a person is speaking to you and takes you through the journey, hence guided.

If you’re brand new to meditating, this is probably going to be your best bet initially as someone’s voice will be with you every step of the way to bring you into a relaxed state so that you can focus on the practice.

Focused Attention Meditation

This is simply the act of focusing on something specific throughout your practice, such as your breath. Fully observing your body and what it does every time you inhale and exhale. It’s good to choose a word to say each time you inhale as well as exhale to help you prolong your focus.

Passage Meditation

I learned this incredible practice from Eknath Easwaran, an amazing indian spiritual teacher. He wrote books that I highly recommend reading such as Passage Meditation, Take Your Time and the Mantram Handbook.

Passage meditation is a unique form where you initially memorize an inspirational passage (ideally one written from some of the world’s great spiritual traditions). You then slowly read the passage word for word over and over again, without thinking into the meaning of the words.

This form of meditation is by far my favorite, but it’s also the most difficult of the three. By focusing on a passage filled with positivity, you essentially become what you meditate on.

To wrap it up…

Meditation is NOT easy. It will take you a LONG time to be able to slow down your thoughts and fully focus on the present moment throughout your practice.

The GOOD thing is that if you stick with it, it will offer you a lifetime of peace, happiness and gratitude.

Just remember: Repeatedly returning is the key. If you find yourself getting distracted, recognize it, don’t judge it and simply return to the practice.

“A calm mind releases the most precious capacity a human being can have: the capacity to turn anger into compassion, fear into fearlessness, and hatred into love.” – Eknath Easwaran

Life is like a board game. Each time you roll the dice and advance forward you land on a new set of problems. In order to proceed to the next step (to a new batch of issues and concerns), you must first learn how to properly deal with what’s thrown at you so that you can progress in the most effective manner to ultimately excel at this game we call life.

It’s conclusive that humans want happiness, love and fulfillment (at least most of the time). Think of these as qualities that you can achieve for a lifetime, once you learn how to win at the board game of life.

The question is, how can you really reap the benefits of these attributes and harness them for as long as you’re on this planet? Or better yet, how can you learn to effectively solve problems in order to eternally access them?

Enter: Patience.

We always hear the saying “Patience is a virtue”, but do you ever stop to really soak in the meaning of the statement?

By definition, patience is “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.”

Through various books, I’ve discovered (which might come as totally obvious to some) that the key to a well-rounded life boils down to your level of patience.

If your patience tank is always on low, you’re most likely a person who gets upset and offended easily, jumping back and forth from positive emotion to negative emotion solely based on all the external factors that come into your existence. Simply put, you’re currently sitting in last place in the board game metaphor.

On the other hand, if you’ve got a full tank of patience you’re typically someone who is calm and composed, ready to take on anything that’s thrown at you with fortitude. In other words, you’re leading the way in the game of life.

Regardless of how much money you possess, your status personally amongst friends or professionally amongst colleagues, even how attractive you may be, if you lack patience you lack the true meaning and sense of what life is supposed to be about.

F the BS: It’s time to learn how to solve your problems by becoming more patient

Now that we know (or have known) that life is always going to throw obstacles at us, everyone can learn to add a few more drops of patience into their daily dose of life. So let’s drill down a few different ways to rewire our minds into gaining more of this one of a kind virtue.

-Slow down your thinking – This is one we’ve discussed in the past. If you can learn to live life on an even keel (through meditation, breathing, reflecting, etc) you’ll be able to control whatever comes at you with confidence and determination, preventing it from affecting your mental state of mind.

-Realize the impermanence of life itself – Life is short. Shit can pop off at any minute. Think about how unimportant whatever it is you’re about to let negatively affect you and realize how insignificant it is in the grand scheme of things.

-Avoid the issue entirely – Most problems experienced are recurring, if not on a daily basis, then enough times throughout life that one can learn to pinpoint them as they are about to occur or even better, right before they present themselves. Really think about this one, and the next time a dilemma is slowly creeping into your existence, take notice of it, stay calm, prevent your emotions from escalating (maybe even take a few deep breaths) and shoot it down with dignity.

-Be compassionate – If your potential problem involves someone else, try to put their feelings and point of view first. Is it really their fault? Even if it is, are they worth disturbing your immediate quality of life?

-Appreciate your dislikes – Most of the time problems and dislikes are interchangeable, but what if you took a new approach to your dislikes and looked at them in a positive light? Can you give them attention and focus and learn to appreciate them and maybe even be grateful for them as they are?

-Use a mantra(m) – Each time emotions are heightened, repeat a phrase or word inside of your head to distract you from the situation at hand until you have a clear mind to approach the problem in a calmer state.

To wrap things up…

It’s pretty simple. If you can acquire more of the skill called patience you can live a better quality of life.

Regardless if you’re completely blindsided by a problem or can prepare and anticipate one coming, the objective is to learn to not allow yourself to blow them out of proportion. Don’t let your emotions and moods be dictated by the external factors that make up your problems. 

The next time you’re presented with one of life’s challenges, try to be a little more patient and see what happens. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up winning at the game of life 🙂

“A man who is a master of patience is a master of everything else.” – George Savile

In life, shit happens.

One moment things are going well and you feel like you’re in a great place in your life and then BOOM, you’re hit with a curveball you never anticipated coming.

You’re in shock, emotions scatter all over the place and you think to yourself how could this have happened?!

It happens to all of us and while it certainly sucks and can make you want to reevaluate your entire existence, there’s a practice that can be performed to better prepare for the unavoidable that can help soften the sting just a bit.

Enter Negative Visualization. 

This practice has been utilized by humans for thousands of years. Simply put, it’s a process of thinking about negative scenarios that could happen in your life at any given moment (anything ranging from the extreme such as the sudden passing of someone close to you or a freak accident that prevents you or a loved one from being able to take care of themselves, to something that may be a long time fear such as losing your job or having to deal with a long term break-up).

Essentially, you spend time thinking about what you have and what you’re grateful for and then you try to visualize your life without it.

At first the idea of negative visualization threw me off a bit. Being more or less an eternal optimist, the concept of spending time thinking about worst case scenarios (or even just negative thoughts in general for any period of time) was not something that I felt comfortable taking part in.

But as I continued to read about the topic, the positive impact that it could have became more clear. So I gave it a shot, and the results were astonishing.

By thinking about potential negative outcomes that technically could happen at any given time or day to either myself or to those that I love, I immediately felt a tremendous sense of appreciation and gratitude for the present moment and those around me.

It was clear that not unlike many others, I was taking various aspects of my life for granted.

Over a short period of time of practicing negative visualization, the value that I had subconsciously placed on myself, my life and those around me began to increase exponentially.

I started to bring realistic life outcomes to the surface level of my thinking, which allowed me to play out in my head how certain situations could arise, how I would potentially react to them and how I could begin mentally preparing for them.

For those that take a more pessimistic view of life, this practice could help break down the walls of fear that’ve been building up for decades. The potential discovery of realizing that certain things in your life aren’t as bad or could end up not being as bad as you might’ve made them out to be can be truly liberating.

Through negative visualization, it’s even possible to learn how to foresee and completely avoid certain situations that life may throw at us as well.

So when should you practice negative visualization?

Similar to reflecting, you should allocate a couple of minutes for this exercise. But for it to really work its wonders, you should practice this a couple of times per week when you have a few moments to yourself (it could really be performed anywhere).

Anticipate 

By learning to anticipate, you can become more mentally prepared in dealing with the catastrophes that life will throw your way. The sudden extremes that can come with living are never going to be easy, but with this tool in your arsenal and the power of anticipation you won’t be as caught off guard and you’ll be able to handle circumstances just a little better.

On a more positive note, it can help with appreciating life and learning to be more grateful and thankful for everyone and everything around you.

“The man who has anticipated the coming of troubles takes away their power when they arrive.”- Seneca